Thailand’s LGBTQ paradise

Tens of millions of tourists visit Thailand every year. Thailand appears to be a true LGBTQ paradise, yet it also attracts tourists from the most “homophobic” countries. Why? As someone who’s been living in Thailand for years, I believe I might have an answer.

No matter what your view on LGBTQ community is, there is a very good chance you will like Thailand. I’ve met people from all over the world who enjoy their vacations here. There are so many foreigners in Pattaya and Phuket, that, at times, it feels like you are not even in Southeast Asia. Everyone seems to be enjoying their time here, no matter what their nationality, race or religion is.

A Cultural Melting Pot

How is this peaceful coexistence even possible, given that people are so divided nowadays? Buddhists, Christians and Muslims get along here somehow. Thailand’s LGBTQ paradise is hard to comprehend. Both gay and straight people are attracted to Thailand’s relaxed way of living, which in Thai language is called ”sabai-sabai” and means ”chilling or relaxing”.

Diversity, Cultural Shock and Adaptation

As someone from a very conservative country (Russia) who lived in France alongside its LGBTQ community for quite a while, it’s almost mind-blowing to see how different gay people in the West and Thailand are. If you are from the West, I’m not sure if you can fully grasp how shocking it can be to meet gay people for the first time. Russia is on par with North Africa and Middle East when it comes to acceptance of LGBTQ people.

Of course, we all know from Western media and Hollywood movies what gay people are, but it’s really shocking to see men kissing one another in public. Call Russians or any Muslim people homophobes if you want, but remember that we’re all a product of our upbringing. It’s really hard to accept something that is a taboo in your culture or religion.

There’s a huge difference between the LGBTQ community in the West and in Thailand, though. To put it into perspective, let me share my experience with gay people in the West first.

Western LGBTQ Encounters

The first person to greet me in France was the coordinator of my volunteer project, a tall bearded guy who looked like Jesus Christ. Instead of shaking hands, he kissed me on both cheeks 😳. He wasn’t even gay; it’s just the way French people greet one another. The girl next to him was a lesbian, as I found out later to my surprise.

That whole project was the epitome of wokeness and LGBTQ rights. For the first time in my life, I was accused of spreading toxic masculinity, homophobia, islamophobia, transphobia, racism etc. (you name it) by a gay person who would never stop whining about his hardships. He had a rare talent for clinging to words and interpreting them in a way to make me look like a bigot.

The other day we went hiking so there was plenty of time to chat. It happened that we started talking about BLM. I said that I didn’t get why everyone was so obsessed with skin color. I told him that I always found black people cool and always wanted to have a black friend.

Misunderstandings and Cultural Sensitivities

This part needs clarification: there are just a few black people in Russia, especially far from big cities. In my entire life I saw just a dozen of them. It was unusual in my town, so everyone was trying to get to know them better. Anyways, when I told him that I found black people interesting and cool, he started his usual whining. He called me racist for “fetishizing” people of colour…

I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and think that he represented Western LGBTQ community but, unfortunately, he did, in most cases. Don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of gay/trans people who were not judgmental and didn’t play victims all the time. I really enjoyed chatting with some of them to know more about this whole thing but most of them were too much for me with their ”pride”.

Challenges and Friendships

One girl accused me of machoism for doing all the hard manual work (we were doing some woodwork). I told her that I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings in any way. I explained to her that it’s just the way things are done in Russia out of respect for women. She got even angrier after hearing that. I decided not to confront her and to play along letting her do what she wanted when she wanted.

Believe it or not but we became friends for the rest of the project. We had another dispute, though. She invited me to visit her in Italy and participate in a gay parade. When I said no, she got mad immediately and called me disrespectful and homophobic. Somehow, we managed to talk this through and agreed not to touch LGBTQ for the time being.

A year later, when we were reflecting on our project experience, we touched that “hot” topic again. This time she admitted being naive demanding someone who lived his whole life in a conservative to accept her values and participate in a pride parade. We’re good friends till this day and I have huge respect for her open-mindedness. She was an exception though, because most LGBTQ people I met in the West were too persistent with their desire to make everyone ”woke”.

Thailand’s LGBTQ paradise: Respect and Harmony

LGBTQ people in Thailand are nothing like that. If anything, it seems like there are way more gay/trans people here than in any Western country, but somehow, you just don’t notice them. They live their peaceful lives without any need to show themselves off. After a short period of time in Thailand you get used to them to such a degree, that it seems completely normal, even to someone with traditional values like me.

Unlike Western masculine transgenders, Thai ladyboys look like girls. It’s really hard to guess who is who, but even if you misgender someone by mistake, it’s not a big deal. They would just smile and correct you in a polite way instead of getting mad like their Western counterparts. That’s what makes it so easy to get along with them and respect their identity.

By the way, in more than two years in Thailand no one ever called me a homophobe. They just take it easy and don’t judge people from other cultures. Now, when I think about it, I don’t even remember any Thai LGBTQ person bringing out their sexual identity unless asked. We talk about usual stuff like politics and rising prices. They are so unlike their Western counterparts who can’t seem to stop complaining about homophobia and their struggles.

Embracing Every Culture

I’ve already mentioned that millions of tourists from “homophobic” countries come here as well. Somehow Muslims and others with traditional values coexist with LGBTQ people here. So, what is it that attracts them to Thailand? My guess would be the Thai people’s attitude to accept everyone for who they are. There’s no aggressive gay propaganda, which is so persistent in the West. Thailand’s LGBTQ paradise does seem to successfully reconcile even the most religious and traditional people with gays.

A Win-Win Situation for All

Also, there are a lot of Western gay/trans people coming to Thailand to enjoy the company of local LGBTQ people. They feel like home here as well. It really looks like a win-win situation for everyone. The best way to make people understand and accept you, is not to get angry and call everyone who doesn’t share your opinion names, but rather the opposite. By forcing people to accept something that they are not willing to, or just not ready yet, you don’t get allies but make enemies.